Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
