Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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