u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i believe in u and ur pee
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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