Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
