I CAN MOONWALK!
People in love make me want to vomit
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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