Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
