this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
