What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
