thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
