love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
