D3 body, D1 cock
need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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