Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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