and you said cock pushups were impossible
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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