I wish life had little blips of pornography
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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