i barfeds in our rink
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
