Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize