He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Your cock deserves a montage
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
