Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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