I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
