my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
