dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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