I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize