my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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