I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
