This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
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