Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
