who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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