so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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