Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
