no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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