I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
