4 words: hood of his car
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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