I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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