I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
