Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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