I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
