my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Too much gin, very little bucket
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
