Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
