I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
