Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize