Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
