My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I smell like Dick and happiness
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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