it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
