just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
