i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
