My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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