my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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