That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
