man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
