OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
