she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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