I wannas sexs uuuuu
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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