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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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