I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
