Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think i got beer on your cat.
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