My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize