hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
