someone threw a dead crab at me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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