Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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