bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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