i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
