you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
