There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he fucked my hip out of place.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
