i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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