You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it glows. i had to have it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
