just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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