So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
