dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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