He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
