I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else