i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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