Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
is wine microwaveable?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance