Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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(949): After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =( http://tfl.nu/pv1c

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(734): View more from Michigan

Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.

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(734): Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders. http://tfl.nu/udeu

Replies (32) Good night (947) Bad night (6288)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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(978): so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call? http://tfl.nu/91ao

Replies (29) Good night (797) Bad night (7654)
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(650): View more from California

they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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(650): they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids. http://tfl.nu/zjz8

Replies (6) Good night (7633) Bad night (1095)
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(858): View more from California

I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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(858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x

Replies (26) Good night (15178) Bad night (1211)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning

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(503): He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning http://tfl.nu/4hjz

Replies (6) Good night (1084) Bad night (4281)
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(712): View more from Iowa

i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.

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(712): i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat. http://tfl.nu/sn6a

Replies (5) Good night (3856) Bad night (1083)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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(630): He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick. http://tfl.nu/e6nk

Replies (29) Good night (1294) Bad night (6095)
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(561): View more from Florida

I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.

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(561): I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition. http://tfl.nu/6rth

Replies (19) Good night (2644) Bad night (836)
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(512): View more from Texas

We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth

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(512): We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/5znv

Replies (5) Good night (676) Bad night (1026)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm stealing this baby.

(1-719): View more from Colorado

Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?

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(719): I'm stealing this baby. (1-719): Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it? http://tfl.nu/p4hu

Replies (5) Good night (1413) Bad night (627)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night

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(505): She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night http://tfl.nu/ai6j

Replies (12) Good night (591) Bad night (1059)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad

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(843): I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad http://tfl.nu/ivow

Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (329)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?

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(717): "Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right? http://tfl.nu/p6ak

Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (284)
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(727): View more from Florida

Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.

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(727): Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night. http://tfl.nu/kpjy

Replies (0) Good night (247) Bad night (465)

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