you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."