and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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