a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize