I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
