I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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