im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize