if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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