i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
