So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
