He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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